Stick Figures
by Bartkartoffeln
Summary: "Imagine your OTP drawing pictures of each other. Person A is annoyed because Person B only draws half assed stick figures." Ganondorf starring as Person A. Link starring as Person B.


Pair therapy. Zelda was clearly out of her mind to make both of them do this. Link shot the huge Gerudo beside him a short glance, before looking back to the Queen of this country.  
He could hear Ganondorf's teeth grinding, but the man didn't dare to speak up against his wife. Zelda's glare was merciless anyway.

"The quarrelling between you two is going on for weeks now. I thought both of you would have more sense than to start useless fights over nothing. The whole court is displeased, and both of your behaviour is downright embarrassing!" She said in her most severe tone. "I cannot understand why two adult and very skilled men like you are throwing fits like children would do. You are Generals, for Goddesses sake! And my realm-"  
" _Our_ realm.", Ganondorf corrected, and she shot him another glare.

"Fine. And _our_ realm is not a playground! I called chief physician Toraph. And I made clear that none of you will leave this room, before you haven't come to terms. At least to a certain degree." She turned from them and strode towards the door. Despite her anger, she vanished silently. The chief physician cleared his throat and stared at Link and Ganondorf. The man was clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation. And no wonder, Link thought. Looking at the Gerudo, any person in their right mind would have run away. The man had crossed his thick, muscled arms in front of his chest, right over his armour, the golden eyes dark and angry because of Zelda's ridiculous order. PAIR therapy! The face of the Gerudo was so pouty it made Link chuckle softly.

The physician, encouraged by the sound, drew nearer and harrumphed again. "Well… as Her Majesty already explained… this is going to be a pair therapy. The term is not the most fitting, I admit. I prepared a little task that will make it easier to… break the ice." Link and Ganondorf grimaced at the same time.

The physician pointed to the desk. Sheets of paper and pens were lying there. "Drawing each other will open you up a bit and enable you to reflect more on your partner."  
"We're not partners!" Ganondorf growled and snorted derogatorily. Link rolled his eyes and sat down, all behaved. He took up a pencil.

"Come on, lets get this over with." He sighed and waited until the Gerudo had joined him, sitting down across the table. Cursing under his breath in his mother tongue, he started to draw. He didn't need to look at Link permanently. The man looked pretty much similar every lifetime, and he had seen more than enough of the Hylian to give the picture some similarity to the real thing.  
The physician stood back, relieved that he didn't have to put up with another quarrel between the two most skilled fighters of Hyrule.  
It didn't last long, however.

When Ganondorf neared the end of a first portrait sketch, he looked over to the sheet Link was doodling on. The hero had drawn several lively stick figures with wild hair and fierce eyes, spitting flames. And there was even a small boar with wings, askew tusks, fuzzy hair and some tiny hearts on its ass. One of the stick figures was drowning, splashing around in panic. Another held a sword the wrong way round. The next sat on a horse, only that the stick figures' legs were dragging over the floor.

Ganondorf's pencil snapped with a loud noise. Fuming, he banged his flat hand against the table surface. "Are you kidding me? That is what you understand as drawing?!" He snarled at Link, but the Hylian waved the man's complaint aside. "No one said it had to be a master piece! This is about perception, you know?"

"PERCEPTION? I am no fucking pig with wings and tiny little hearts, and I know how to hold a damn sword!" The Gerudo yelled angrily. The physicians face had become utterly pale by now. This was the worst case scenario. Toraph cleared his throat and tried to calm both of them - only that neither Link nor Ganondorf listened.

"So what? That's how I see you!" Link replied with a shrug, unimpressed by the loud voice or temper of the other General. The golden eyes of the King narrowed. He grabbed the desk and shoved it aside, halfway throwing it against a wall. With a step he closed the distance to the Hylian and gripped his throat, lifting him halfway of his feet. A deep, threatening growl reverberated through the whole room, and Link prepared himself to fight back. The physician yelped and fled the room in a rustle of robes, running for his life and calling for help.

After a few seconds, the Demon King took a deep breath, chuckling darkly. "That was fun."  
Link sighed. "You didn't have to overact like that, Gan." The man let go of his throat and with a very smug, very content grin, Ganondorf smoothed Link's clothes by stroking down the trained torso with both big hands. The Hylian couldn't suppress a smile. "What do you think how long Zelda's buying the whole charade?" He asked, and the Demon King shrugged. "Not for very much longer, I fear. She is clever like hell. But at least we could avoid some of those tedious, stupid meetings for a few weeks. I guess fighting with you can be a good thing after all." He grinned widely.

The Gerudo placed the table back in its original position, rearranging neatly paper and pens. His gaze fell upon the stick figures again and he snorted. "Really, Link. I know you can do better."  
The Hylian snorted himself and held up the portrait Ganondorf had drawn. "Yeah, you too."

With a sarcastic glare he pointed at the picture. His pointy ears were three times longer than normal, one eye was small the other big, and his lips were painted red like a woman's. "I'm looking like a dork."  
Ganondorf chuckled, then broke into laughter. Link joined him, and after a few moments they sat down again, grinning, and set about their task contently. After all, they still had to 'come to terms'.


End file.
